To all my Ex Lovers,
I still love you
But I’m glad I chose myself
I got lost in your ways
Trying to hold on to you,
I was letting go of myself
I love you, yes
But keep your distance
I was not able to love us equally
And I can not give you what you want
I am focusing on me,
Again
Again, because each time one of you come
I fall again with no one to pick me up
Again, because each time I see your face
I recall the pain of losing myself
Drowning in your so called “love”
I am not trying again
Though, if you made me change my mind
I’d pray this would be the last time
The last time, I give any more of my heart to you
Hoping you would have learned how to hold me gently
Hoping you would have learned how to love me as I once loved you
Hoping you would have learned how to see what effort brings
I still love you,
Because I don’t take those words lightly
And you are still in my heart
The pieces I’m still trying to heal
The pieces I’m still trying to love so hard
It erases the pain for eternity
Dear Ex Lovers,
Do you still wish things were different?
Do you still wish you saw me during the times you tried to make me different?
Do you still wish that you told me earlier of the feelings you were hiding from me?
I still love you,
I’ll always love the hearts I tried to mend
Trying to show you, you were worthy of real love
While you stomped on my heart
Trying to show you, I was everything you needed
While I neglected my own heart
I was a fool for you
I was intently hanging on to every word, every syllable
He said it, he will do it
He said it, he meant it
He said it, he will show me
He said it, he meant no harm
I was a fool to think my love would have changed you
Or maybe it did,
But you waited until it was gone
To see it
I still love you, yes
I still think you deserve the best, yes
I still wish for your happiness, yes
I’ve just learned, in all the hard ways
I love too much
I wish the love I gave you,
I gave myself
So now, it’s my turn
So now, I deserve
So now, I wish
So now, I give
All my love to me,
The one love my Ex Lovers didn’t know how to keep
5.13.2020