First

I used to love you

Never thought you’d never be mine

Wished for you a thousand times

Written books in your spirit

Nightmares in your soul

I would have traveled the world

If you wanted me to

I would I have traveled for you

But greedy hands do not hold on

Selfish hearts do not bleed

And after years of playing with mine

You see

You see that my heart bled for you

My hands held on to you

My soul screamed at night for you

My spirit wrote your name in everything

Everything was about you

And while there will never be another time

I still find myself looking for you

I find you in others

Hoping one might be the better version of you

Hoping that they don’t have all your colors

I think I’m doing this all wrong

You still haunt me in my dreams

I wish you would leave

I wish I never told you I’d always love you

That you’d be my forever

That you were home

I used to love you

So much I couldn’t stand it

The pain and the relief

With just one look into your eyes

I used to love you

Before I learned to love me

I wish you were never mine

I’d be looking for some other to find

2.25.2020

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