Rebirth Self-Love

I gave my heart another chance
Took her by surprise
Gave her all I ever had to give
Took back all the lies
Took back all the shame
Took back all the doubts
Begged for forgiveness
And showed up not only with words
But with my actions
I promised to listen within
I promised to hold on
I promised our breaks would mend
I gave my heart another chance
She loved me every step of the way
She loved me for all that I was
She loved me for all I was never meant to be
I gave my heart another chance
She held me and said don’t worry
She told me I will wipe your tears
She told me she forgave me
I am back home where I belong
I am home where my heart is
I am home with me
She’s the best love I could have ever asked for
She’s me


Are you ready to love yourself?

Signs of love at the river.

Love All the Parts of You

A little background

It took years and hard work to love all of me. Every single part. When I wrote this poem (2017), I was in a bad depressive episode. Few knew it, I was a high functioning depressive. I seriously remember wanting to escape from the world and I didn’t know how to get myself right. For the first time, I was also experiencing anxiety attacks. I was prescribed meds that I didn’t like. They helped with sleep, but I was not me. And I so desperately just wanted to be me. The real me who got lost along the way of a destructive and unnecessary “relationships” and near death experiences, all while still dealing with extreme grief.

But I made it out. I focused on small steps and eventually found my abandoned heart. I picked her up and nutured her back. It took three years to find true healing and love within myself. The journey still continues, but both sides of me are balanced and working together this time. We aren’t losing each other ever again.

I’m happy I chose me, every single day.

Choose you too. ♡

She Deserves Your Love

You love the happy and goofy

But, dear Lindsey

Don’t forget to love the insecure and depressed you

She deserves love too

She wants to enjoy life to the fullest

So work on both versions of you

The happy to stay happy

The sad to grow happy

Balance your love

Don’t forget her

That’s why she is still struggling

You are forgetting her smiles

You are forgetting her desires

She deserves to love and live too

Love all parts of you

Even at the hardest times

Because that’s when she needs the love the most


Your Sad Self

The one who deserves your love the most


We Could Have Been

We could have been in love by now,

But egos and differences got in the way.

We could have planned

Our future by now,

But fear and doubts got in the way.

We could have everything by now,

But we are too stubborn,

We are too much for each other.

Love couldn’t step in, let alone stay.

Trust walked out months ago.

Respect talked itself dead.

We could have been a lot of things,

But it just wasn’t our thing.


Repeated Mistakes

So I wrote this years ago…14 years to be exact. It’s simple, straight forward. But in finding it today, history has repeated itself. So as a reminder for self, I will share tonight.

Mistakes, But No Regrets

We had many mistakes

Many regrets

Many wishes

And each and every time

Things between us couldn’t be

Regardless of our feelings

You didn’t want to be

I didn’t want to be

Back and forth

We’d switch

And back and forth

Hurt and tears were shed

I couldn’t live that way

We couldn’t

Friends? No

With feelings deep inside

It wouldn’t be possible

And we’ve proven that

It’s a shame

But it’s okay

I’m just fine

For sure this time

Secretly I wish,

I long for you

But it will be impossible with you

I know that much

And I can’t play this tug-o-war

Between feelings

No, I can’t anymore

I’m leaving love behind

Because love never truly satisfied me

Maybe because I could

Not let it all the way in

And because I did that

I fooled myself

And because you could only hope

And because you could only imagine

Only pretend of love

I was was in love with a lie

I can’t live that way

I won’t

I don’t, not anymore

I’ve made my mistakes with you

As well as others

But not anymore

I’ve left you all behind

I will love me

And get love in return, from me

Because your love

Was never here in the first place

I realized everything

And in that, it was a lesson learned

It was building block

Therefore, I no longer regret

But just remember

So that if I get a chance

With someone else in the future

I won’t repeat

I won’t repeat those mistakes

I won’t fall so easily

I won’t give so easily

I won’t do it

No, no


Losing Love

Dear Love,

I’ve forgotten how easy it is to lose you

One day you are here

Creating wishes and dreams

Having me think

“Yes, you must be the one”

And you turn around and face me

Almost with tears in your eyes

Almost with a smirk on your lips

“I was not ready for you”

And there goes goodbye

Dear Love,

I’ve forgotten how easy it is to lose you

Thinking this must be a game

A game I really don’t like to play

Like how could you bring us together

Only to let everything get in the way?

How do people say words with emptiness

Behind them?

Dear Love,

I’ve forgotten how easy it is to lose you

I thought I was good enough

I thought I was ready for you

I thought my heart beat found you and

My mind only thought of you

I thought you were good enough

I thought you were ready for me

I thought your heart beat for me and your

Mind only had me on the brain

Dear Love,

I’ve forgotten how easy it is to lose you

What is this?

What is this?

What game are you trying to play?

If my soul does not feed you

Why ask to stay?

If my heart can not reach yours

Why ask to hold it?

If my love is not what you can handle

Why ask to be loved?

Dear Love,

Don’t tell me I’ve lost you…again.


I’ve Been Here Before

It’s not my fault

If you don’t see my worth

Finding little and every thing to

discourage you from the fall

I have seen this before

I have lived this before

I have tried this before

We don’t have to settle

We don’t have to find conclusions

To fit the story

If I told you my all

If I showed you my all

I should be enough

I am enough

I am beyond the limits you set

I am beyond the limits you fear

My love is not just for anyone, my dear

If I choose you

If I chose you

Just make it clear

I am the love you seek

And if you choose to pass me by

I may start to cry

But I know my worth

I have to remind myself each and every


Those lines whisper across my lips

Feeling like sunken ships

I am me

Never who someone wants me to be

But if you want to

I’ll take all of you

And I’ll be the best version of me

And I’ll catch you when you fall

These arms are waiting

Just don’t string me along


Puzzled Pieces

To be honest,
You were never the one for me
I could tell by the way
You held my hand.
People try to force
Puzzle pieces together
Just because they look similar.
But we were not a match
We would never be able to
Complete the picture
Settling like that.


A Home Without You

You felt like home, broken and torn

And I thought if I were to love you

And you were to love me

Two hearts would mend

Two hearts would fill

Two hearts would find peace

And a new home we would build

Our new definition of home would

Outweigh the trauma we lived

But only one heart was ready

Ready to find the love to mend the pain

And one heart found out

How to find their own peace and

Define their own home

A home without you


To Build A Nest

Blue Jay and A Branch

I’m sitting here watching a

Blue Jay hunt for branches

In order to built their nest

He picks random branches

Hoping it can be what they need

Some don’t give in

While others gladly accept

Yet sometimes the Blue Jay

Just leaves the picked branch

Not using it for their nest

And I wonder why?

Why does it allow it to fall,

Yet doesn’t take it for their home?

I wonder why, if the branch

Is willing to go

Why does the Blue Jay

Leave it to be broken?

Why am I that Blue Jay?

And why are you that branch?

Why can’t I use you?

And why did you have to fall?

Is it because you’re not what I’m looking for?

And at the same time

I don’t know what it is

That I am looking for

So I should be happy with

What I have…and that’s you

I need you in my home

I need your strength and support

I need your care

So why am I that Blue Jay

And you are that branch?


Home Is Where The Heart Is

“Find the love you seek by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in they place within you. That is your true home.”

Sri Ravi Skankar

It finally hit me today. I’ve know this phrase so well, quote it often, “Home is where the heart is.” But today, it resonated with me differently. I am home. I have put my “home” within other people to find. I thought my broken heart/home was to be filled with love from others and places. I am my home. I am my love. I am healing my own broken place.

These poems were of those previous thoughts.

Broken Home

He was like home

Loving, yet broken

Something I don’t like

But where I only felt safe

So to have him be

Is bittersweet

But just fine

Cause he’s not mine

He felt like home

But home is broken

And I don’t expect

Right from wrong

Sad but true

Home always makes me blue

I’ve moved away

From home

Many times before

Though one home

Will always be

There to stay

This home, his home

I have to leave again

But I can’t go back

My home will always

Be broken

Regardless of where it is

But I’ll always love

And miss home

It’s just time to be alone


Home You Never Had

I want to be your foundation

Destroy those remnants of old walls

And build up from the ground

With love

Surround you with visions of clarity

This is your future home

Your safe place

Where you can be yourself

And loved for all the right reasons

Where you will be protected

From all seasons

I want to be the home you

Never had

To support

And lead you to happiness

The home we can create together