Hello, It’s Me…

Hello, it’s me again.

I didn’t think you’d mind,
all the time we’ve spent together.
I thought I’d still be on your mind.

I didn’t think you’d forget me so fast.
Is my time gone from the hour glass?

Hey, it’s me again.
Remember how I used to hold your hand?
Remember the long kisses that would
make you lose your fight to stand?
Remember the long nights of talking?
Hearing your voice slowly fade,
as you tried to fight sleeping.

Yo, it’s me again.
Did you forget me?
I thought I meant the world to you?
I know I left, but I thought you knew,
I’d be back for you.
I tried to be cool,
Not front on missing you.
Didn’t you miss me?
You must be a fool.

What’s up, it’s me again.
You remember that girl still?
Nah, she wasn’t for me.
I told you, I just need you.
Remember our first date?
I told you I’d marry you.
You know I was serious.
I didn’t think you’d move on.
Seriously, just c’mon.

Sorry, it’s me again.
I know I did you wrong.
But you were always the one.
But you were different.
But you were supposed to wait.
I’m sorry, its so late.
I’m sorry, can we try again?
I’m sorry….

Hello?
*click*

Hello?
*delete*

Hello?
*block*

[3.19.2019]

Outlets

I recall listening to a podcast recently where they mentioned even if you don’t have anything to say or write, to write that down. You did what you could and to move on. It struck me because there’s been so many times I actually wanted to write and nothing would come to the paper. In my mind, I thought, “oh, nothing must be wrong. Great, I’m good.” Majority of what I’ve written in the past was an outlet for me. Outlet for anger, sadness, depression, whatever. So if I had nothing to write, I equated that to being “good.” And now, I realize I think I just needed a different outlet. I was tired of writing the same things and reliving the same things. How was I progessing? How was I moving on? Was there anything to my writing that was actually going to make a difference?

There was months, sometimes a year or more, when I just didn’t write. And I definitely wasn’t good. I tried other things, art was always good. Nature walks were the best. Music filled my soul. Therapy helped tremendously. Meditation calmed me. But in the end, I still came back to writing. I think it’s important to be able to recognize what we need in our lives. What changes need to be made or what can we temporarily switch out, while giving ourselves a break. Whatever your outlet is for self-care, I hope you continue to do it. I hope it provides peace and stability for you. Don’t be afraid to try new things and don’t worry if you lose the joy in an old thing, it’ll come back to you.

Peace and Love,

Lindsey