Repeated Mistakes

So I wrote this years ago…14 years to be exact. It’s simple, straight forward. But in finding it today, history has repeated itself. So as a reminder for self, I will share tonight.

Mistakes, But No Regrets

We had many mistakes

Many regrets

Many wishes

And each and every time

Things between us couldn’t be

Regardless of our feelings

You didn’t want to be

I didn’t want to be

Back and forth

We’d switch

And back and forth

Hurt and tears were shed

I couldn’t live that way

We couldn’t

Friends? No

With feelings deep inside

It wouldn’t be possible

And we’ve proven that

It’s a shame

But it’s okay

I’m just fine

For sure this time

Secretly I wish,

I long for you

But it will be impossible with you

I know that much

And I can’t play this tug-o-war

Between feelings

No, I can’t anymore

I’m leaving love behind

Because love never truly satisfied me

Maybe because I could

Not let it all the way in

And because I did that

I fooled myself

And because you could only hope

And because you could only imagine

Only pretend of love

I was was in love with a lie

I can’t live that way

I won’t

I don’t, not anymore

I’ve made my mistakes with you

As well as others

But not anymore

I’ve left you all behind

I will love me

And get love in return, from me

Because your love

Was never here in the first place

I realized everything

And in that, it was a lesson learned

It was building block

Therefore, I no longer regret

But just remember

So that if I get a chance

With someone else in the future

I won’t repeat

I won’t repeat those mistakes

I won’t fall so easily

I won’t give so easily

I won’t do it

No, no


Redirection to Healing

Young Lindsey was a “wise, old soul”

Things she spoke of, still surprise me

Things I thought I just felt

She already had the words

She already experienced

And it reminds me that life is still a constant circle

A circle I thought I broke

A circle I thought I could mend

But there are those feelings again

You can’t heal

You can’t blame them

You saw the signs, clear as day

Thought the preview was going to be different than the show

Return to your self

You can heal

Start from ground zero

and build yourself so high

Forgive yourself for the repeated mistakes

Thank yourself for lessons learned

Believe that you can trust in love again

See your own signs and redirect yourself

until you are on the right path

Remember what Young Lindsey said

She’s right there, she never left you