New Intentions

In the morning, the sun rises

Nothing like the dawn of a new day

The rays gently peaking through the blinds

Eventually landing across my face

Never felt peace like this

Thinking it was an impossible wish

I‘ve found happiness

Once I allowed the doubt to subside

New meaning of life came alive

Setting each new day with new intentions

2.28.2020

My Way

I haven’t come all this way to back down.

I haven’t been and seen the worse of life to let it capsize me into ruins.

I’m here for a reason.

I must live my purpose.

I’m not here to tell you, you are my reason to live.

Because I’m my OWN reason to live.

I grow because the Sun woke me up, the Earth fed me and the Water refreshed me.

You tried to keep me inside for darkness to reign.

So you could stunt my growth to stay on your level.

We are not on the same level.

I am not the woman you need me to be.

I am the woman I need to be.

So sorry for your loss, I was too busy remembering her light.

I am too busy remembering, I had me before I even had the thought of you.

And, unfortunately, you no longer have permission to access her.

2.24.2020

Live Your Life

Too busy out living life yesterday, didn’t make a post. And while, I have been making February a “post a day,” I’m not disappointed for missing yesterday. The thing about life is, you truly have to live it. And live it in more than just words daily. But to be in the moment. Cherish the moments. Cherish the people you are with and cherish the time you give yourself. I was busy yesterday! Amazing hiking adventure with one of my besties. Spent time with my mentee. Dinner and relaxing with new and old friends. I have nothing to complain about in that day.

So I’m just keeping it simple and sweet. Continue to be present in every day, with every person you are around. You never get the same memories again. You never know what time you have, so spend it carefully.

Until the next post…Peace and Love to you all.

Lindsey

Hiking Adventure 2.22.2020

Fragments

“I see fragments of myself in you,
While I’m trying to save you,
I’m saving myself too.”

Lindsey K Payne


The things that I am finding. I wrote that back in 2011. The younger me was wise, but didn’t take the time to really grow. The today me has been begging for true growth and it’s finally happening. I love the journey I’ve been on though. I’ve had some true eye awakening moments and to be honest, I didn’t always like who was staring back at me in the mirror. I’m thankful for every moment I’ve given myself to create change.

I’m innately a “fixer” and “nurturer.” And while those are honorable things, they are not always the best when in relationships.   I am no longer looking to “fix” someone so I can feel better about myself. I am here to love myself and to love someone wholeheartedly for who they are…without the fixing or saving.  Learning to love, trust, take care and respect myself wholeheartedly so that I only recognize the love in others instead of the pain. Attract the good and leave the bad.

Always creating and saving space for healing. These things don’t happen overnight and they don’t have an ending.
Keep loving yourself.

“I see fragments of myself in you,
While I’m learning to love you,
I’ve been loving myself too.”

Lindsey K Payne

Hello, 2020

Hello! It’s Lindsey! It’s been a while…again. I remember when I was posting every other day. Well, I’m going to get to that again, among a few other things. I am not upset that I did not complete some of the things I set out to do in 2019. In fact, I am proud of myself for starting the journey and realizing my point of stopping was actually needed. Going through my old journals and poems, was actually kind of hard for me. But now I can look at them and know that I am still growing and these were moments in my life that I needed to express. There is no need for me to be dragged, emotionally, back into those spaces. I just need to read, type and acknowledge the space I was in and know where I am currently in.

Reflection is a very important aspect of self growth. We all have those moments we just can’t believe how we allowed ourselves to be in bad situations, or plain, stupid situations. But I truly believe we are life long learners and sometimes, some of us, just have to relearn our mistakes again and again until we finally say “STOP.” I finally said that in December. I am 100% ready to keep it moving in growth and accepting my WORTH in 2020. That is an absolute.

My work in therapy has been going well and my own work outside of it has definitely been a whirlwind but good. I will be continuing my meditation practice, journaling and setting daily intentions or affirmations. I will be hiking every week and enjoying walks in between. Staying focused on my nature therapy:). Most importantly, listening to myself. Putting my words into actions and only keeping expectations towards myself. I will continue to take one day at time. Breathe when I get overwhelmed and take breaks when my body tells me to. I can’t enjoy this year if I am struggling inside. I speak peace within and around me. I will also be more careful about who I have around me and who I let in my space.

2019 was actually a good year, even with my ups and downs. Cries and laughs. It taught me a lot more than the previous and I am forever grateful for that. I applaud 2019. If you can not live in gratitude, you are not living life. I am excited for 2020. I am excited for my new adventures. I am excited to simply love all of me. I wish the same for those reading this.

Be happy. Be grateful. Be LOVE.

Peace and Love, Lindsey