First

I used to love you

Never thought you’d never be mine

Wished for you a thousand times

Written books in your spirit

Nightmares in your soul

I would have traveled the world

If you wanted me to

I would I have traveled for you

But greedy hands do not hold on

Selfish hearts do not bleed

And after years of playing with mine

You see

You see that my heart bled for you

My hands held on to you

My soul screamed at night for you

My spirit wrote your name in everything

Everything was about you

And while there will never be another time

I still find myself looking for you

I find you in others

Hoping one might be the better version of you

Hoping that they don’t have all your colors

I think I’m doing this all wrong

You still haunt me in my dreams

I wish you would leave

I wish I never told you I’d always love you

That you’d be my forever

That you were home

I used to love you

So much I couldn’t stand it

The pain and the relief

With just one look into your eyes

I used to love you

Before I learned to love me

I wish you were never mine

I’d be looking for some other to find

2.25.2020

Trust Your Journey

Say this with me…

Toxic cycles, patterns, relationships and habits are ending. I release anything that triggers me or brings me down. Negative energy is being cleared from my life. I will be rewarded for my positive energy. All of my endings will lead to new beginnings. I trust my journey. I inhale acceptance and exhale judgement. A new journey is starting. What has served its purpose is coming to an end. 11.5.2019

It took awhile, like all great journeys do. But all of that above is leaving and left. Sometimes it’s great when new things come your way to remind you that you do in fact deserve completeness with self. And understanding from others.

I hope whatever you are trying to leave behind, you make changes to do so. Don’t be afraid and to keep things to yourself. Take moments of self-reflection seriously. Say, do, and act accordingly.

Goodnight, Loves.

Tender Kisses

Blow kisses my way

Hope they land perfectly

Falling upon the tears

That shed

And creating peace

Where sorrow lives

Blow kisses my way

Hope they land perfectly

Falling upon my lips

That were formed for you

To melt our hearts into one

Blow kisses my way

Hope they land perfectly

Falling upon my forehead

To ease the anxiety

To allow my body to sleep at night

Blow kisses my way

Place kisses on me

Kiss me and all my worries away

1.6.2018

Reset

Hello, it’s me again! I’m officially back. Today starts Day 1 of getting back on schedule with my blog and poetry. To kick it things off, I’ll keep it sweet and simple.

Before You

If I could only remember
How it felt to be loved before you
I wouldn’t be searching for love in dried out souls

If I could only remember
How it felt to be loved before you
I wouldn’t be searching for unyielding promises

If I could only remember
How it felt to be loved before you
I wouldn’t be searching for pain to fill the void

If I could only remember
How it felt to be loved before you
I wouldn’t be searching for myself in the mirror

If I could only remember
How it felt to be loved before you
I wouldn’t have dared laid my eyes upon you

If I could only remember
I’d be the woman in love with self
Who knew that pain did not equate love

And I’m starting to remember…


[1.29.2020]

Losing Love

Dear Love,

I’ve forgotten how easy it is to lose you

One day you are here

Creating wishes and dreams

Having me think

“Yes, you must be the one”

And you turn around and face me

Almost with tears in your eyes

Almost with a smirk on your lips

“I was not ready for you”

And there goes goodbye

Dear Love,

I’ve forgotten how easy it is to lose you

Thinking this must be a game

A game I really don’t like to play

Like how could you bring us together

Only to let everything get in the way?

How do people say words with emptiness

Behind them?

Dear Love,

I’ve forgotten how easy it is to lose you

I thought I was good enough

I thought I was ready for you

I thought my heart beat found you and

My mind only thought of you

I thought you were good enough

I thought you were ready for me

I thought your heart beat for me and your

Mind only had me on the brain

Dear Love,

I’ve forgotten how easy it is to lose you

What is this?

What is this?

What game are you trying to play?

If my soul does not feed you

Why ask to stay?

If my heart can not reach yours

Why ask to hold it?

If my love is not what you can handle

Why ask to be loved?

Dear Love,

Don’t tell me I’ve lost you…again.

9.4.2019

Puzzled Pieces

To be honest,
You were never the one for me
I could tell by the way
You held my hand.
People try to force
Puzzle pieces together
Just because they look similar.
But we were not a match
We would never be able to
Complete the picture
Settling like that.

6.26.19

A Home Without You

You felt like home, broken and torn

And I thought if I were to love you

And you were to love me

Two hearts would mend

Two hearts would fill

Two hearts would find peace

And a new home we would build

Our new definition of home would

Outweigh the trauma we lived

But only one heart was ready

Ready to find the love to mend the pain

And one heart found out

How to find their own peace and

Define their own home

A home without you

[5.11.2019]

Don’t Tell Me

Don’t tell me those kisses

Are lies

Don’t tell me those touches

Are myths

Don’t tell me that love

Never lived here

Here in this space

Between you and I

And that now you

No longer hear my cry

No

No don’t tell me

Don’t tell me those eyes don’t reflect

Don’t tell me those hands don’t feel

Don’t tell me that your heart don’t beat

Here in this space

Between you and I

And that now you

No longer see my pain

No

No don’t tell me

Don’t tell me those lungs

Don’t grasp for air

Don’t tell me those veins

Don’t pump blood

Don’t tell me that feelings don’t exite

Here in this space

Between you and I

And that now you

No longer feel my love

No

No don’t tell me

Don’t tell me that all

I’ve ever done

Doesn’t matter

Don’t tell me that all

I’ve ever done

Was a waste

Don’t tell me that all

I’ve ever done

Was solely my fault

No

No love

Don’t tell me that all

The love we made

Was in simple vain

Because my love

You’ll give me the greatest pain

You’ll give me the greatest reason

To cause pain

No

No don’t tell me

This space

Between you and I

Was never meant to stay

No don’t tell me

All I was to you

Was an overnight overdue

[04.29.2008]

I Chose You

Dear Heart,

I know you are in pain

feeling voids

even when you try so hard

to fill them.

Dear Heart,

please calm down

your love is not for fairy tales

your heart will not have crowns.

Dear Heart,

I love you

I’m doing my best

please settle down

and enjoy the rest.

Dear Heart,

we have healing to do

please don’t be mad

I chose you.

[3.14.2019]