Tender Kisses

Blow kisses my way

Hope they land perfectly

Falling upon the tears

That shed

And creating peace

Where sorrow lives

Blow kisses my way

Hope they land perfectly

Falling upon my lips

That were formed for you

To melt our hearts into one

Blow kisses my way

Hope they land perfectly

Falling upon my forehead

To ease the anxiety

To allow my body to sleep at night

Blow kisses my way

Place kisses on me

Kiss me and all my worries away

1.6.2018

Heart Strings

My brother has been on my mind all day. I mean he’s there all the time anyways, but today it’s been constant. To be honest I cried in the car earlier today. Certainly will be while writing this. Just those moments when you miss someone so much and you just want to hear their voice and you are trying to remember their voice. I know I can’t forget him, that is impossible, but some days…ugh, it’s like how come I can’t hear him?? Grief is never easy and it’s never ending. And even on silly holidays like Valentine’s it makes you miss the important people in your life even more. Love is shared every day and if you are lucky to know real love ( family or romantic) it’s hard when you are missing it.

It dawned on me that there was a Valentine’s day years ago, like 14 years or something, when I couldn’t talk to my brother. Some things had happened and we hadn’t talked in a while. Well he called me on Valentine’s and I missed his call because I was in class (or probably the horrible cell phone service we had then). I freaked out because I just needed to talk to him. He eventually tried calling again and we talked briefly. You just never know how important those moments are and how they will affect you years to come. And honestly, that’s all I want right now is to talk to him. I want to hear him laugh and joke. Say something tremendously stupid so he could get me to laugh. He wasn’t perfect, but he was perfectly mine. He’s probably looking at me now like “really, Lindsey…it’s okay, I’m here.” 🙂

If you are dealing with grief, I hope you have a great support system around you or feel comfortable to talk about it. I actually keep a lot in, but writing about it is healing for me and I believe it can be healing for others. We are all dealing with it and if you aren’t now, you certainly will at some point in your life. Just be kind and gentle with yourself. Acknowledge when it comes to, feel it fully, take a deep breathe and let it go. It is okay. You will be okay, for that I promise. One day at time.

To my brother, Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you with everything I have. Until we see each other again, I’ll see you in my dreams.

Love,

Lindsey

Outlets

I recall listening to a podcast recently where they mentioned even if you don’t have anything to say or write, to write that down. You did what you could and to move on. It struck me because there’s been so many times I actually wanted to write and nothing would come to the paper. In my mind, I thought, “oh, nothing must be wrong. Great, I’m good.” Majority of what I’ve written in the past was an outlet for me. Outlet for anger, sadness, depression, whatever. So if I had nothing to write, I equated that to being “good.” And now, I realize I think I just needed a different outlet. I was tired of writing the same things and reliving the same things. How was I progessing? How was I moving on? Was there anything to my writing that was actually going to make a difference?

There was months, sometimes a year or more, when I just didn’t write. And I definitely wasn’t good. I tried other things, art was always good. Nature walks were the best. Music filled my soul. Therapy helped tremendously. Meditation calmed me. But in the end, I still came back to writing. I think it’s important to be able to recognize what we need in our lives. What changes need to be made or what can we temporarily switch out, while giving ourselves a break. Whatever your outlet is for self-care, I hope you continue to do it. I hope it provides peace and stability for you. Don’t be afraid to try new things and don’t worry if you lose the joy in an old thing, it’ll come back to you.

Peace and Love,

Lindsey

Wanderer

With the wind by my side

And the sun behind me

No place seems too far

Distance has no limit

Even with the odds against me

Remembering that I am love

Every step that I take

Remembering that I am light

I am…the Wanderer

2.12.2020

Once a upon a time in Humboldt

All the Things

I am all the things

You think I am

Because your mind won’t

Allow you to see clearly

I am all the things

You think I am

Because your heart has

Grown cold

I am all the things

You think I am

Because you refuse to love

Me entirely

I am all the things

You think  I am

Because you don’t know me

I am all the things

You think I am

Because I simply refuse

To correct you

I am all the things

You think I am

And I am all the things

You’ll never have

2.1.2020

Repeated Mistakes

So I wrote this years ago…14 years to be exact. It’s simple, straight forward. But in finding it today, history has repeated itself. So as a reminder for self, I will share tonight.

Mistakes, But No Regrets

We had many mistakes

Many regrets

Many wishes

And each and every time

Things between us couldn’t be

Regardless of our feelings

You didn’t want to be

I didn’t want to be

Back and forth

We’d switch

And back and forth

Hurt and tears were shed

I couldn’t live that way

We couldn’t

Friends? No

With feelings deep inside

It wouldn’t be possible

And we’ve proven that

It’s a shame

But it’s okay

I’m just fine

For sure this time

Secretly I wish,

I long for you

But it will be impossible with you

I know that much

And I can’t play this tug-o-war

Between feelings

No, I can’t anymore

I’m leaving love behind

Because love never truly satisfied me

Maybe because I could

Not let it all the way in

And because I did that

I fooled myself

And because you could only hope

And because you could only imagine

Only pretend of love

I was was in love with a lie

I can’t live that way

I won’t

I don’t, not anymore

I’ve made my mistakes with you

As well as others

But not anymore

I’ve left you all behind

I will love me

And get love in return, from me

Because your love

Was never here in the first place

I realized everything

And in that, it was a lesson learned

It was building block

Therefore, I no longer regret

But just remember

So that if I get a chance

With someone else in the future

I won’t repeat

I won’t repeat those mistakes

I won’t fall so easily

I won’t give so easily

I won’t do it

No, no

6.2.2006

Who Do You See?

Have you looked in the mirror today?

Did you like who was there?

Did they give you warm, fuzzy feelings

Or did you not recognize them?

Did you speak power to the being

Or did you break them down to shreds?

Did you say I love you

Or did you say I hate you?

What would it take to find happiness in the mirror?

What would it take to bring love to your eyes?

What would it take to bring prideful thoughts instead of lies?

Have you looked in the mirror today?

Did you like what you see?

If not, close your eyes and repeat after me

“I, (your name), am me.

I am love.

I am free.

I am worthy.

I am change.

I am hope.

I am more than the negative image I see.

I am the beautiful soul that breaks down darkness with light.

I am me.”

Open your eyes.

Now, who do you see?

2.9.2020

Be Sure

To those looking for love

Be sure you are ready for love

Be sure you have done some work on self

Be sure you don’t take your insecurities out on others

Be sure you are ready for everything that comes with knowing someone new

Be sure you are enough for you

Be sure you are ready to be a supporter of your love

Be sure you are ready fight for love

Be sure you are constantly working on bettering yourself

Be sure you love whole heartly

Be sure you communicate effectively

Be sure you play no games

Be sure you are ready for all the good and bad

And more importantly, be ready to look in the mirror and love yourself.

2.8.2020

Happiness is

Happiness is…

Laughing until tears appear

Watching a butterfly flutter in the air

Feeling the wind grace your face

Smelling the scent of magnolias blooming

Touching the surface of the water’s healing

Happiness is…

Reading poetry in the grass

Enjoying in all the small things

Allowing beautiful moments to create life

Loving yourself every second of every day

Choosing Happiness. Always.

2.7.2020

Thankful Thursdays

If you follow me on Instagram (@naturaluphoto) you may know that on Thursdays, I post with the #thankfulthursday hashtag. Today’s post was sweet and simple, but as the day progressed, I realized I like to elaborate on something dear to me: having a support system.

We all have those moments when we think that we can do everything on our own. We don’t need anyone’s input. Everything has been just find with so and so before anyone came around. But then sometimes, the Universe graces us with a person (or two, three…) who completely changes our outlook on the world and is able to push us where no one has before. These can be family members, friends, coworkers, mentors, significant others, even complete strangers.  Their words and actions play a significant part on our lives and just like that, a seed is planted. We desire change. We are now motivated to do better. We see that our previous ways, were not the best we could do. So on and so forth.

I hope that while reading this, you have thoughts of those people who entered your life and made an impact.  And in turn, I hope that you are that person to someone else. We can live in complete gratitude of one another and make the best of ourselves and the world around us.

Be grateful. Be loved. Be the reason someone keeps going today.

Peace and Love,

Lindsey