Hello, It’s Me…

Hello, it’s me again.

I didn’t think you’d mind,
all the time we’ve spent together.
I thought I’d still be on your mind.

I didn’t think you’d forget me so fast.
Is my time gone from the hour glass?

Hey, it’s me again.
Remember how I used to hold your hand?
Remember the long kisses that would
make you lose your fight to stand?
Remember the long nights of talking?
Hearing your voice slowly fade,
as you tried to fight sleeping.

Yo, it’s me again.
Did you forget me?
I thought I meant the world to you?
I know I left, but I thought you knew,
I’d be back for you.
I tried to be cool,
Not front on missing you.
Didn’t you miss me?
You must be a fool.

What’s up, it’s me again.
You remember that girl still?
Nah, she wasn’t for me.
I told you, I just need you.
Remember our first date?
I told you I’d marry you.
You know I was serious.
I didn’t think you’d move on.
Seriously, just c’mon.

Sorry, it’s me again.
I know I did you wrong.
But you were always the one.
But you were different.
But you were supposed to wait.
I’m sorry, its so late.
I’m sorry, can we try again?
I’m sorry….

Hello?
*click*

Hello?
*delete*

Hello?
*block*

[3.19.2019]

NaturaLu Excursions: Hiking Highlights from 2020

Happy Sunday! Texas got a surprise today with snow! Unfortunately, I didn’t go on a hike today. Listening to the rain and sleet outside made me reminisce about all the sunny days out in 2020. Below are all the parks I completed during the year. All my favorites are the ones with **. Check out my video highlights from them all.

Friedrich Wilderness Park**

Crownridge Canyon Natural Area

Eisenhower Park

Mother Neff State Park

Government Canyon State Park

Comanche Lookout

Hill Country State Natural Area

Guadalupe River State Park**

Lockhart State Park

Choke Canyon State Park

Lost Maples Natural State Park**

McKinney Falls State Park**

Palmetto State Park

Enchanted Rock State Natural Area**

Goliad State Park

Old Tunnel State Park

Garner State Park**

South Llano River State Park

Dinosaur Valley State Park**

Cedar Hill State Park

Ray Roberts Lake State Park

Valero Trailhead

Purgatory Creek Trailhead

Pedernales Falls State Park**

Brazos Bend State Park**

Hikes for 2021

For 2021, I plan to try new State Parks and add a few National Parks as well. I will be heading out to Big Bend State Park later this month. The major hiking goal I have is to climb Guadalupe Peak at Guadalupe Mountains National Park. The goal is to climb the 8,750ft peak in September. After that, Carlsbad Cavern National Park!

Lots of research of parks and gear ahead! This is going to be a great year!

Until next week,

Lindsey

Sunshine on Her Face

Dear Love, with the sunshine on her face
I wish you much healing and grace
From those men who dared to
trespass your space
For they now know that their fate
can and will be erased
There is no room for the unwanted
There is no room for the taunting behaviors of a love misguided
There is no room for the soul that is simply just flaunting or undecided

Dear Love, with the sunshine on her face
I wish you much healing and grace
From those men who simply just don’t understand
That life is not made of only quick sand
That life is not made of only fires and storms
That life is not made of only pain and swarms
Life is created daily as the sun rises
Life is created daily as the water flows
Life is created daily as the leaf unfolds
Life is created in the love we hold

Dear Love, with the sunshine on her face
I wish you much healing and grace
From these men who simply don’t get it

They would know from where you sit
The life and love you hold within
Is where their life would only begin

Lindsey K Payne
1.8.2021

Happy New Year… What’s new?

Well we know 2020 was a little bit of a crazy year. Although, I have a lot of gratitude towards 2020. In fact, I wrote a love letter to it (will share in another post). I admit, this blog sat on the back burner for the last 7-8 months. Yet, I have been far from complacent in that time.

Just a few updates since my new year post of 2020 and my last post in May. I found my worth. I moved into a tiny home. I started a Wellness Life Coaching Business (www.rebirthselflove.com) and I finished my 52 Hike Challenge. I did well with my poetry for a while and then life just caught up with me. Between all the good, there was definitely pain and sorrow in between. Life has been lived and I am ready for more!

I am making a new addition to NaturaLu Creations for 2021. I have decided to do the 52 Hike Challenge again and to write about my amazing adventures. These hikes have been my saving grace in 2020- with COVID and racism being in our faces all year long, I needed something to settle my anxieties and nature has always been the best therapy for me. Don’t worry, the poetry will be coming back this week too!

So join me on a little hiking adventure each week! Welcome to NaturaLu Creations presents, NaturaLu Excursions!

NATURALU EXCURSIONS: The 52 Hike Challenge 2021, Hike 1: Kickapoo Cavern State Park

Today, my friends and I, went to a brand new place for us. We traveled almost 3 hours to Bracketville, TX to visit the Kickapoo Cavern State Park. Although we weren’t able to see the actual caverns (thanks again to COVID) or stay to watch the bats emerge, we were able to trek about 95% of the trails there and complete 11.2 miles.

Amazing trees on the Vireo Vista Trail.

If you are a bird watcher, you will love it here. We saw so many birds, including Crested Caracaras and the most American Robins I have ever seen. I am not an avid birder, but I remember many species from my college Ornithology class (I was a Wildlife Conservation Major). I have thought about investing in binoculars so I can test myself from all that knowledge over a decade ago! You can pick up this bird checklist below, inside at the office!

Awesome birding field checklist.

If you are looking for other signs of wildlife, you are still in luck. We saw several armadillos, one of which pretty much walked right past us while looking for food and water. There were also hundreds of javelina footprints around and we did see a fox running by in the morning (we arrived around 930am).

Our most curious armadillo friend stopped for a drink.

If you are not an avid hiker just yet, some of the trails may be challenging for you. As always, Texas State Parks provide trail guides with a levels of difficulty. Most scale “easy” towards “moderate,” with the Barbado Ridge Trail leading, moderate to strenuous (I will say, for any of these parks, be aware that these maps are not to scale. We typically hike more than what the numbers say). The terrain is pretty rocky and has several steep inclines and declines. The highest point we reached was 1,900ft. Make sure you have some sturdy shoes and ready for those rocks. And if you have any previous injuries, make sure you are prepared. I have knee injuries and always wear my knee brace, but those inclines, plus the distance, can be rough! Those last two miles certainly were for me.

Barbado Ridge Trail, total trail is about 2.1 miles

Overall, it was a perfect day with the views and the weather. I usually layer up (it was 34 degrees Fahrenheit when we arrived and moved up the to high 60s). I plan to go back when they reopen the caverns to the public. We only saw three other people on the trails, really just one biker. Seemed like everyone else who was there was utilizing the camping grounds. Perfect park to go to if you are looking for some quiet and no people! Yay for social distancing.

They have some great signage throughout the park!

If you enjoying hiking, what are some of your favorites areas to frequent?

Until the next adventure…

Lindsey

Riverbed on The Long Way Home Trail

Ex Lovers

To all my Ex Lovers,

I still love you

But I’m glad I chose myself

I got lost in your ways

Trying to hold on to you,

I was letting go of myself

I love you, yes

But keep your distance

I was not able to love us equally

And I can not give you what you want

I am focusing on me,

Again

Again, because each time one of you come

I fall again with no one to pick me up

Again, because each time I see your face

I recall the pain of losing myself

Drowning in your so called “love”

I am not trying again

Though, if you made me change my mind

I’d pray this would be the last time

The last time, I give any more of my heart to you

Hoping you would have learned how to hold me gently

Hoping you would have learned how to love me as I once loved you

Hoping you would have learned how to see what effort brings

I still love you,

Because I don’t take those words lightly

And you are still in my heart

The pieces I’m still trying to heal

The pieces I’m still trying to love so hard

It erases the pain for eternity

Dear Ex Lovers,

Do you still wish things were different?

Do you still wish you saw me during the times you tried to make me different?

Do you still wish that you told me earlier of the feelings you were hiding from me?

I still love you,

I’ll always love the hearts I tried to mend

Trying to show you, you were worthy of real love

While you stomped on my heart

Trying to show you, I was everything you needed

While I neglected my own heart

I was a fool for you

I was intently hanging on to every word, every syllable

He said it, he will do it

He said it, he meant it

He said it, he will show me

He said it, he meant no harm

I was a fool to think my love would have changed you

Or maybe it did,

But you waited until it was gone

To see it

I still love you, yes

I still think you deserve the best, yes

I still wish for your happiness, yes

I’ve just learned, in all the hard ways

I love too much

I wish the love I gave you,

I gave myself

So now, it’s my turn

So now, I deserve

So now, I wish

So now, I give

All my love to me,

The one love my Ex Lovers didn’t know how to keep

5.13.2020

Still Need Work

You can’t tame every heart to love as you do.

You can’t tame every soul to feel as you do.

You can’t tame every body to give as you do.

Our expectations are not reality.

Our expectations are not the end all.

Our expectations are not promises.

We cannot ask someone to speak, if we are not ready to listen.

We cannot ask someone to give, if we are not ready to receive.

We cannot ask someone to know, if we are not ready to tell them.

Be kind to yourself, you are worthy.

Be kind to yourself, you are loved.

Be kind to yourself, you are seen.

I trusted you to not fall, but I allowed you to.

I trusted you to not project, but I allowed you to.

I trusted you to not mess up, but I allowed you to.

Every day is another day to look at yourself and recognize,

You still have time to grow.


4.29.2020

Love, A Wanderer

I found myself in your laugh
I found myself in your smile
I found myself in your eye’s reflection
I found myself in your heart
I found myself in your soul
I found myself in your dreams
And yet, I still wander
Looking for my new place to call
Home
Looking for my heart as it continues to roam
Looking for my love as I walk pass my own reflection
Looking for my confidence to show
Looking for my reason and season to turn into lifetime
I found myself in you
But I’m still looking for myself in me, too

4.15.2020

Lost Soul Seeking

My soul is tired

She’s fighting for air

I tried to make her rest

But it’s just one thing

After the other

Overwhelmed and confused

Trying to get through the day

When only tears want to work

She’s ready to walk away

To get lost in a forest

And never to return

She’s ready

She’s ready

For everything to turn

3.12.2020

Sweet Dreams

I close my eyes

Wishing for change

For when they reopen

That the memory within me

Comes back to reality

I am here

You are here

Nothing in between to keep us apart

When I open my eyes

The memory of you still exists

And I think back to those times

We had

And I think back to those

Tears shed

I wasn’t supposed to lose you

I wasn’t supposed to say goodbye

I wasn’t supposed to grieve you

I close my eyes once more

Thinking if I just try harder

You will appear

That you will hear me

That you will see me

That you will feel me

But when I open my eyes

You still are not there

I wish you were here

I wish you were here

I guess I’ll go back to dreaming

For there, you visit

For there, you speak

For there, you are

And I see you never left

I just have to find you differently

When I close my eyes

To sweet dreams

3.5.2020

In memory, JP ❤

Time and Will

“Keep going, and don’t worry about your speed. You’re making progress even if it doesn’t seem like it. Forward is forward, no matter how slow.”

Lori Deschene

I’ve spent the last month rededicating time to this blog. Hoping it would motivate me back into my book process. It’s been a struggle. I can write daily, but sometimes it was just because I “had” to. I had to follow through with my commitment to myself. The inspiration to write and share was not happening every day though. I’m trying to find a balance between the many work things that I do with keeping time and space for my personal passions. All of this with a looming feeling inside.

We can take two steps forward and six steps back sometimes, but we just have to keep moving towards our goals. Knowing that things will happen when they are meant to in their own time and will. Some days my spirit will move me to non-stop creativity and other days, its rest time. I will honor whatever comes.

I hope those of you who actually read my blog, have been enjoying my words (and photos). I appreciate all your support. This isn’t the end.

Until next time…

In gratitude,

Lindsey