A little background

It took years and hard work to love all of me. Every single part. When I wrote this poem (2017), I was in a bad depressive episode. Few knew it, I was a high functioning depressive. I seriously remember wanting to escape from the world and I didn’t know how to get myself right. For the first time, I was also experiencing anxiety attacks. I was prescribed meds that I didn’t like. They helped with sleep, but I was not me. And I so desperately just wanted to be me. The real me who got lost along the way of a destructive and unnecessary “relationships” and near death experiences, all while still dealing with extreme grief.

But I made it out. I focused on small steps and eventually found my abandoned heart. I picked her up and nutured her back. It took three years to find true healing and love within myself. The journey still continues, but both sides of me are balanced and working together this time. We aren’t losing each other ever again.

I’m happy I chose me, every single day.

Choose you too. ♡

She Deserves Your Love

You love the happy and goofy

But, dear Lindsey

Don’t forget to love the insecure and depressed you

She deserves love too

She wants to enjoy life to the fullest

So work on both versions of you

The happy to stay happy

The sad to grow happy

Balance your love

Don’t forget her

That’s why she is still struggling

You are forgetting her smiles

You are forgetting her desires

She deserves to love and live too

Love all parts of you

Even at the hardest times

Because that’s when she needs the love the most

Sincerely,

Your Sad Self

The one who deserves your love the most

[10.25.2017]